You Live for the Fight When That's All That You've Got

Hi y'all...

I know, I know. August was the last time I posted on here. But I'm back. I've recently gone through the most devastating and painful few weeks of my life and I need somewhere to direct my (sad lack of) energy. You might remember me going on and on about the fact that I was moving out of my parents' home and into my own little flat - well, I'm back home now. So I'm sure you can make your own guesses of what's happened, but I really don't want to divulge the dirty secrets - that's what my personal diary is for. And my god, you do NOT want to read that. (It's like that bit off Bridesmaids, where Brynn reads Annie's diary... "At first I did not know that it was your diary, I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.") Haha, at least that made me laugh!

So with the title of this blog post in mind, my HUGELY supportive network of family and friends have all told me to keep busy, keep my mind off things, keep off Facebook! It causes more trouble than harm, seriously. I would know! So I've deleted my account, and I'm like "hmm... What do I do on the internet now?" Looooads of people were against me deleting my FB account, but I can turn pretty bunny-boiler stalker on there, so it's for my own good. But said people were also wondering how they could keep up with the progress of my cakes? Ah yes, my go-to hobby. Not a business anymore, a hobby.  It just got Way. Too. Much. Trying to change jobs, trying to maintain a household, trying to hold my relationship together. I can't do it all, I'm only human. The week before christmas I had SIX cakes to do. SIX!! I literally worked myself to the bone, I was tired, I hadn't read a good book in ages, and I had no social life. Things needed to change, so I collapsed the business and any legalities that went with it. Phew.
I'm fighting my damn well hardest. I really am. My parents probably don't think so, I've had about 3 nervous break downs/panic attacks in the last month alone - and I've never had one in my life! Sure, things have got low. No - they hit rock bottom. But I have a reason to get out of bed in the mornings. I have my friends, my family, my work, my hobby, my adorable cats (best bit about being home!). I sometimes feel like there isn't a point, but then I have to stop and think about alllllll the other people who have got it so much worse than I do.

With this in mind, I will take Mr Jovi's advice and fight to get my life back on track. I always liked those lyrics. I went through a phase a while back of wanting special song lyrics tattooed somewhere on my body - but I could never get the right ones. But these were always the front-runner, yet back then I feel like I had nothing to fight for? Things were going amazingly in my life, and these were quite depressing lyrics - knowing that you can't just wallow in self-pity and that life and happiness IS worth fighting for. I already had happiness. Had, being the important word there.

So I'm back to blogging! I really let myself go on the blogging front, just posting pictures of the latest cakes by the end of it. You all seemed much more interested when I showed you my progress pictures, shared recipes and cake-making secrets. I suppose I kinda stopped all that because I was worried about people stealing my ideas, but they did that anyway so nevermind! I'm going to go right back to where I left off, and share my thoughts and ideas with you all. I'm not fussed if I get more followers, or if people comment on the posts, but at the end of the day I just need something to take my mind off things and direct my thoughts somewhere other than my sad little diary :) (Or Facebook, for that matter!)

The Original Girl With a Wooden Spoon x